It may seem at first glance that we are unaware or unfamiliar with the practice of solitude. However, we realize that we recognize it when we first fell in love with our spouse. Think about it. When you two first confessed romantic feelings for one another, all you two wanted to do was be together. Of course, there are other responsibilities you needed to attend to – work, school, church, etc. But the two of you longed to be close together to talk, to laugh, to learn, to listen, and it was all built on the idea of love.

 

Now, when we talk about the idea of solitude with our Creator, it seems familiar, but different. Maybe it’s because this relationship is unique to human interactions of love. Your wife can audible speak to you. And you can understand her and give her a response. With God, we have to adjust the way we look at this practice.

 

Some of us simply seem to lose our sense of self when there is no one to mirror back who we are. Without the oxygen of doing and the mirror of approval, our feelings of being real and important evaporate. Hollow places open up in our heart, and our soul feels empty and bare. We can feel agitated, scattered, and distracted. These disconcerting feelings do two things for us. They reveal how much of our identity is embedded in a false sense of self. And they show us how easy it is to avoid solitude because we dislike being unproductive and unapplauded. But we need solitude if we intend to unmask the false self and its important-looking image. Alone, without distractions, we put ourselves in a place where God can reveal things to us that we might not notice in the normal preoccupations of life.

 

In the practice of spiritual disciplines in apprenticeship to Jesus, solitude is often accompanied and accentuated by the practice of silence. It is difficult to find silence in an age of technology and information. Silence challenges our cultural addiction to amusement, words, music, advertising, noise, alarms, and voices. Usually, when silence hits the unattuned, we scrambled to fill it. We cram it with something else we can learn or do or achieve. Whether it be Spotify in the car, The Office on auto play while we’re doing chores, or phone calls to catch up on, we always have something to fill silence. However, what if God is inviting us into silence? What if He desires of us to embrace the awkwardness of being alone with our own thoughts in order to see what He sees? The discipline of silence invites us to leave behind the competing demands of our outer world for time alone with Jesus. Silence offers a way of paying attention to the Spirit of God and what he brings to the surface of our souls.

 

Together, silence and solitude are an essential dual practice in the life of a follower of Jesus, especially in our current culture of distractions and noise. Many share with frustration, “I don’t hear God when I pray.” The ancient desert fathers and mothers would respond with, “Then turn down the volume.”